*What fills you up? What nourishes you? What gets your blood going? What’s the fizz in your ginger ale? When you are most alive, who are you? What are you doing? Who are you with? What’s happening around you at that moment?
It is very sad that most people are never asked questions like these!
Life is so crazy busy and blinkered
“Clients are living their lives while holding their breath”
People are just too busy trying to untie the twisted knots of their lives to get at what they hope will be the magic treasure inside.
Clients often come to coaching with plans and goals for escaping the prison they’ve found themselves in. They’ve been digging tunnels looking for a way out. Clients come to coaching short of breath from running after their lives, trying to catch up or get ahead so that someday they can have the life they really want.
It’s the life they are planning to have … as soon as (fill in the blank) the house is paid for, the kids are in college, they find the career (or partner) they love, this current misery ends, they find out what they want, their organisation becomes enlightened. Clients are living their lives while holding their breath.
Does the end justify the means?!
“Fulfilment is not something you can get or own. It is something you must live “
Even with good intentions and a goal, people often have great difficulty making things happen. That’s partly because they’ve focused on the goal as the means of fulfilment: the thing, the answer, the solution, is invested with the power to grant fulfilment or happiness.
Actually, this puts the emphasis in the wrong place; fulfilment is not something you can get or own. It is something you must live.
“You know you are not work it!”
Another challenge to finding individual fulfilment is the demanding world that surrounds our clients and us. We are all pulled in 40 directions at once by expectations of others and current responsibilities.
To make it even tougher, we are on many occasions dragged down by voices in the dark saying things like, “You don’t deserve it. Why try? You’ll just mess it up anyway. It’s too risky. Who do you think you are?”
I say, tell those saboteur voices, “Bulls**t, I do deserve and can do it!”
Start the steps in transforming your life!
“Living a fulfilling life is a radical act; it required proactive focus, effort and persistence”
I know it is possible for people to have fulfilling lives today, right where they are, even as they make plans to transform and evolve. It starts with answers to questions like those at the top of this page — it starts with knowing what you want out of life.
That’s a big step for lots of people. Lots of people I meet have never really asked themselves that question, not at the deepest level. “No, really. What do you really want in your very own life? You get to make it up from a blank page.”
To actually claim that life means breaking free of boxes that may have become quite familiar and neatly decorated, lined with the soft illusion of safety. These boxes may look comfortable, but so do those cushy, satin lined coffins. Living a fulfilling life is a radical act; it required proactive focus, effort and persistence. We all live in a world that favors, supports and provides incentives for going along to get along.
Be yourself, live your dreams
“Too many people die with their music still in them”
Honouring who we really are can mean making difficult choices. In the end, however, we believe that fulfilment is worth the challenge. At the end of the day, we believe people want to say they went after their dreams, they sought out and nourished robust, life-giving relationships and they fulfilled their purpose in their own unique way.
Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, “Too many people die with their music still in them.” Coaching for fulfilment gets clients to sing their own special song and dance their own special dance.
Interested in exploring your very own fulfilment
If so, please feel free to contact me for an intake. And, yes, some people see coaching as therapy … but I say see it more as having a great conversation with your best friend 🙂 who is skilled at opening you up in a safe way, makes you even more aware of yourself and your situation, and focuses you on the important things all in an effort to support you in getting the very best out of your true self.
“Who are you, and what’s really important about how you live?”
*Please note that I sourced and used verbatim material from a fulfilment resource of The Coaches Training Institute. All rights reserved. www.coactive.com