It’s all just bull****!
3 tips to living a fuller life
Okay, maybe the heading is a bit shocking, but I was really feeling that way. I was on a coaching training and actually used these words; I was a tad emotional. You might be wondering, “Oh no, how can he show his emotions?” To be honest, the training had everything to do with emotions.
Why do I write and share this blog … how can emotions be of value? Below are three key learnings from the training and subsequent tips that I believe can help in living a fuller life.
Tip 1 – do not suppress your emotions, it costs energy
In all of our lives, there are things we are not 100% happy with. We might feel embarrassed or ashamed, and even might push them down or away because living with them causes discomfort.
Emotion is energy in motion (e-motion). When you express or let out your emotions, you access energy. When you avoid them, it takes energy to hold them down. As they say, “What emotions you resist, they will always persist”.
It costs energy to suppress emotions, and the opportunity cost is energy lost that you could have better used for more productive purposes. So, always be in touch with and express your emotions, allowing you then to tap your full energy potential … this is where real transformational change takes place!
Tip 2 – embrace your full range of emotions; do not ‘flatline’
Take the metaphor of a wave, representing the highs and lows of your emotions in life. How often do you allow yourself to be happy? Or when someone says, “Good job!”, do you really appreciate what you have done? Or, when you feel sad or disappointed, do you embrace those emotions, or rather try ridding them immediately? The issue with minimising your emotional highs and lows is that you start to ‘flatline’ i.e. live a more constricted way of life.
Take the metaphor of a piano … an average pianist plays about 30% of the keys. In life, you want to be able to use your full range, and the same goes for emotions. Ride the highs and the lows (even Viktor Frankl said, “There is meaning in suffering!”) and no more flatlining; live a fuller life!
Tip 3 – you are worth it, but it is purpose dependent
Many people are living a different or restricted version of themselves. I did! When you are living and being someone else, and not yourself … “It’s all just bull****!”
During my training, we delved into everyday themes such as feeling ‘not good enough’, ‘not liked’, ‘not worth it’ and many more. A big learning for me was that the theme of feeling ‘not worth it’ is actually context dependent.
If you are in a context that does not match who you are, like a fresh water fish swimming in the sea, of course you will struggle, others will notice, you too, and for sure this will ultimately fuel your feeling of ‘not worth it’.
If you put yourself in a context that matches who you are and your purpose, you become engaged, get in the flow, and in the end will add value. So, go do what you were born to do, make a difference and be worth it …
To live a fuller life, firstly, unearth any suppressed emotions you have to allow you to access an untapped reservoir of energy to use. Secondly, embrace and experience the full range of emotional highs and lows, and finally, live and be the person you are meant to be. If not, then show some bloody emotions and change it … because it’s all bull**** if you do not!
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